5 Simple Phrases to Get Kids to Clean Around the House

Do you want your kids to help out around the house but you don’t know exactly what to say to get them to actually do it? Maybe when you do ask for their help they come back at you with an attitude or an argument. Maybe you ask multiple times and even start nagging them which leaves you frustrated and never wanting to ask for their help again. I know the feeling! 

As a busy mom, you’re always battling the seemingly endless to-do lists and the constant juggling act that comes with parenthood. Between work, school, extracurricular activities, and the nonstop cycle of meal planning, grocery shopping, and cleaning, it’s a wonder you manage to find a moment to breathe! That’s why it’s so important that we get help by instilling good home management habits in our kids.

In this post, I’m sharing five phrases I’ve been saying to my kids lately that have been helping encourage them to clean up around the house and manage their own messes better. Of course, ALWAYS start with laying a foundation of love and respect as it’s so important for any gentle approach to parenting to actually work. And always start with changing YOUR habits and routines first. Your kids need to see your consistency before they can improve their own. 

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1. “Who are you leaving that for?”

I started asking my kids this question when I created my dishwashing system. Our dishwashing system is SUPER easy by the way. I literally repeated for MONTHS, “Wash, dry, put away” until it finally stuck with my kids. This phrase “Who are you leaving that for?” came about because of this system because when my kids would leave their dish on the counter or in the sink they were saying with their actions that they’re leaving it for someone else to clean up.

This phrase is useful to encourage your kids to take responsibility for their own messes and develop good home management habits. By asking “Who are you leaving that for?”, you’re subtly prompting your children to think about the consequences of leaving their belongings out and not picking up after themselves. This question encourages them to consider how their actions impact the rest of the family, teaching them empathy and responsibility.

Cleaning Up Dishes

For example, imagine your child has just finished a snack and leaves the plate with crumbs on the table. You can gently ask, “Who are you leaving that for?”, which will bring awareness to him to think about whether he should put the plate in the sink or dishwasher. This simple question can lead to a more mindful approach to tidying up and help your child understand the importance of contributing to a clean and tidy home.

Cleaning Up Laundry

You can use this phrase for situations beyond just dishes such as him leaving dirty clothes on the floor. The same phrase can be used to remind him that someone else might have to pick up after him if he doesn’t take care of it himself. By consistently using this phrase, your children will become more aware of their actions and develop a sense of responsibility, making it easier to maintain a clean and orderly home environment.

MOM TIP: Try to say it with out an attitude or being snarky. Use it as a simple reminder to bring more awareness to your kids habits.

2. “I’m going to come to your room in 10 minutes to kiss you goodnight and tuck you in. Please make sure you have done these 3 things.”

This phrase is great to use with your kids when you are transitioning to bedtime but you really could use it at any time of the day.

Communicating clear expectations to your children is key to fostering a sense of responsibility and promoting good home management habits. Using this phrase, you provide your kids with a specific timeframe and a manageable number of tasks to complete. By setting the expectation of a loving goodnight routine, you’ll maintain a warm and encouraging atmosphere while still asserting your expectations. If bedtime has always been hectic, you’re going to start experiencing a lot of peace.

No More than 3 Tasks

The 3 tasks can be tailored to your family’s unique situation and priorities. For instance, you might ask your child to pick up their toys, put dirty clothes in the laundry basket, and brush their teeth before you come to tuck them in. This approach not only helps your child understand the importance of keeping their space clean and organized but also reinforces the value of time management and self-discipline.

Consistency is Key

Consistency is key when using this phrase to encourage good home management habits in your kids. By regularly implementing this routine, you’re reinforcing the message that cleanliness and organization are important values in your household. Consistency helps your children develop a sense of routine and predictability, which in turn instills a sense of security and stability. As a result, they’re more likely to internalize these habits and carry them into adulthood. Make sure you work on your habit of remembering to say this phrase to them when you want them to begin their nighttime routine. You may have to set a recurring timer for yourself on your phone.

When Your Kids Don’t Comply

If your child doesn’t complete the three tasks, it’s important to establish consequences that are both logical and fair. For instance, if he doesn’t finish his responsibilities before bedtime, he might miss out on storytime with you or lose a certain amount of time on electronics the following day. These consequences serve as gentle reminders of the importance of completing tasks and maintaining a clean environment. By linking the consequences directly to his actions, your child will better understand the cause and effect of their choices, ultimately encouraging him to develop a stronger sense of responsibility and self-discipline.

As your children grow accustomed to this routine, they’ll develop a habit of tidying up and taking care of responsibilities before bedtime. Ultimately, this will lead to better home management skills and a cleaner, more organized living environment for the entire family.

MOM TIP: Set a recurring timer on your phone to go off 45-60 minutes before you want them in bed to remind you to say this bedtime trigger phrase to prompt your kids to begin their bedtime routine.

3. “What is something you did today that you’re proud of? What is something you can do today that you will be proud of?”

This is the most recent phrase I’ve started using with my kids and I’m loving it so much because it gives me an opportunity to connect with them on a deeper level.

Kids’ Increased Self-Worth

I’ve realized how effective it can be encouraging my children to reflect on their accomplishments and identify tasks they can take pride in. It gets them thinking deeper beyond their daily home routines. By asking them about what they’re proud of, we can help our kids develop a sense of self-worth and pride in their contributions to the family.

Kids Taking Initiative

For example, your child might share that he’s proud of cleaning up his room without being asked or that he helped their sibling with homework. This positive reinforcement highlights the significance of his actions and encourages him to continue taking initiative around the house.

Additionally, when you ask his about something he can do today that he will be proud of, you inspire him to think proactively about ways he can contribute to maintaining a clean and organized home. Your child might decide to sweep the floors, wash the dishes, or fold laundry. By prompting them to set their own goals, you’re providing them with a sense of autonomy and motivation to take on tasks around the house.

Using this phrase consistently helps your children develop a strong work ethic and a sense of pride in their responsibilities, ultimately leading to better home management habits and a more peaceful living environment.

MOM TIP: If you’ve struggled to build a rapport of respect with your child, utilizing this phrase is a great way to bridge that gap in your relationship.

4. “Let’s get these 3 chores done so that we can do [blank] together.”

If I want to get some chores done quickly around the house, I will tell my kids this phrase so we all have something fun to motivate us. For us, this works great about 1-2 hours before we’re leaving the house to meet up with some friends.

Incorporating a reward system into your family’s home management routine can be a highly effective way to motivate your kids to participate in chores. By using this phrase, you create a sense of teamwork and provide a clear incentive for completing the tasks at hand.

Kids Taking Initiative

For example, if your children help you with washing the dishes, folding laundry, and vacuuming the living room, you might promise them a family game night, a movie together, or a trip to the park. This approach not only motivates your kids to contribute to household chores but also strengthens your bond as a family by emphasizing the importance of spending quality time together.

Set an Example for Your Kids

Moreover, by working alongside your children to complete chores, you set a positive example and demonstrate the value of teamwork. They’ll learn that everyone in the family plays a part in maintaining a clean and organized home, which helps to create a sense of unity and shared responsibility.

Using this phrase regularly helps your children develop a positive attitude toward household tasks and understand the connection between their efforts and the rewards that follow. Over time, they will develop good home management habits and appreciate the benefits of working together as a family.

MOM TIP: Follow through with your promise! Learn to have fun with your kids. They’re only little for so long.

5. “I see you and I’m proud of you!”

I’ve been sharing this phrase with my husband a lot lately and have recently been more intentional to say it to my kids. Affirmation and recognition are so important for encouraging your children to develop good home management habits, and by using this phrase, you acknowledge their efforts in helping out around the house and reinforce the positive behavior that you want to see them do more often.

Look for Opportunities to Give Praise

For example, if you notice your child taking the initiative to pick up his toys without being asked or helping their sibling with a chore, it’s important to let him know that you see what he’s doing and appreciate his contribution. This acknowledgment not only boosts his self-esteem but also reinforces the value of his actions, creating a positive feedback loop that encourages him to continue taking responsibility around the house.

Another instance could be when your child consistently makes his bed each morning or sets the table for dinner. By expressing your pride in his actions, you’re nurturing a sense of accomplishment in him and motivating him to maintain these habits in the long run.

Be Consistent

It can sometimes be challenging for busy moms to notice all the small things their children do around the house. With numerous responsibilities and daily demands, it’s easy for these efforts to go unnoticed. To become more aware of your children’s contributions, try setting aside specific times during the day to observe their actions and behavior. You can also create a habit of checking in with them to ask about their day and the tasks they’ve completed. Another idea is to establish a family chore chart that allows you to track everyone’s progress and celebrate their accomplishments together.

Regularly using this phrase to affirm your children’s efforts helps create an environment where they feel valued and supported, ultimately leading to the development of strong home management habits and a cleaner, more organized living space.

MOM TIP: You will attract more flies with honey. Learn to talk sweetly to your kids. It will go a long way.

Try one new phrase!

Implementing these five simple phrases in your daily interactions with your children can make a world of difference in fostering good home management habits. Remember, the key is to communicate clearly, consistently, and lovingly, creating an environment where your kids feel valued and motivated to contribute to the household chores.

Don’t bite off too much at one time though or your efforts will fall flat. Put to practice one new phrase at a time until it feels like second nature.

Here’s to a cleaner, more organized home, and most importantly, a stronger, more connected family. Keep up the great work, and remember: you’ve got this!

I’d love to hear from you!

Which one of these phrases are you going to start implementing first? How do you think your kids are going to react?