Do you feel overwhelmed in your home?

Do you ever feel guilty for yelling at your kids because you were so angry? Do you wish you could remain calm even in chaotic situations? 

Elizabeth Andreyevskiy from the Emotionally Healthy Legacy Podcast is sharing with us why we feel triggered by anger in our home and what we can do to regulate our emotions and take back control of our motherhood without yelling.

Elizabeth is a stress and anger management coach for Christian moms whose mission is to help moms get to the root of their overwhelm and create actionable steps to make lasting changes in their lives.

You can grab her FREE guide for 5 powerful, effective, and simple ways to calm overwhelmed mind when feeling triggered!

Listen to the Podcast

During the interview with Elizabeth, she mentioned several things you can do to reduce the stress in your life so that you’re able to better manage your feelings of anger. I’ve shared them with you below as well as my personal experience with reducing my own stress in each of these areas.

Tip #1: Eat enough food to reduce stress.

Have you ever heard the term “hangry?” If so, then you know exactly what I’m referring to. Hangry is when you’re so hungry that it causes you to feel angry. Parents who are managing their homes are constantly juggling several tasks at one time, and if we’re not giving ourselves enough food, we’re likely to experience that “hangry” feeling more often than we want.

You may be cooking dinner while helping your children with homework while switching laundry while answering a text while cleaning up puppy pee and so on. At least this is what is happening in my home. lol. We are always problem-solving and putting out little “fires” all around the house and we need an adequate amount of energy to keep up with everything that is demanding our attention.

Fasting is a healthy practice but can contribute to feelings of stress.

A lack of food depletes our energy sources and when we are faced with demands around the house we are likely to experience stress which then can lead to anger. We become hangry. A fasting diet is trendy at the moment; however, in my personal experience, fasting has led me to be more short-tempered with my kids, especially in the mornings during our homeschool routine.

💡Create a secret snack basket just for parents.

Take some time to create a basket full of nutritious and pleasurable snacks that are just for YOU. Stash it in a location where your kids can’t find it and make sure that you treat yourself often to keep your energy at an optimal level.

Tip #2: Make sure you’re getting enough sleep.

Sleep is definitely the #1 contributor when I’m feeling stressed. If I stay up too late reading, resetting the house or working on a project, the next day I feel like my world is caving in around me. Everything feels wrong in some way. I even start feeling bad about things I usually feel confident in.

A lot of parents, especially stay-at-home moms, tend to stay up late just so they can get some alone time.

I know it’s hard feeling like you never get time alone to yourself and so when the kids are finally in bed, you want to just be you. You want to do things you enjoy without someone bothering you or asking you to do something for them. And because of your limited amount of time as a mom, you probably end up staying up late just to get the alone time you’ve been craving all day.

The problem with staying up too late is that we end up not getting the right amount of sleep we personally need to function at an optimal level. We’re not superhuman. We need sleep. And if you are multi-tasking in motherhood or in a job outside your home, you need even more sleep than you’re currently giving yourself.

Get some adult time before your kids go to bed.

Here are some things you can do to create a calming atmosphere before the kids go to bed so that you don’t feel like you need as much alone time:

• Turn off all overhead lights and turn on only a few lamps. A dim atmosphere creates a calmer mood in the home.
• Turn off the television 1-2 hours before bedtime. Background noise from t.v. and devices contributes to stress without you even realizing it.
• Reset your home before the kids go to bed so you’re not doing chores during your kid-free time.

Need help organizing your home?

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Tip #3: Declutter and organize your home.

Clutter contributes to a feeling of chaos in a home. When your home feels chaotic, you’re never at peace. Living in a constant place of unrest can not only lead to constant stress but is also detrimental to the family unit.

Samantha’s Story

I worked with a client whose home had been in a state of disarray for years after going through a traumatic situation. The client was experiencing depression and anxiety and felt she was simply just surviving. After decluttering her entire house with her during several sessions, she started showing signs of healing. She reported she felt like getting up in the morning and that her family members noticed a significant change in her mood. That is a testament to how much our physical environment can impact our emotions.

Start decluttering your home to reduce stress.

If you have struggled with feeling angry while you’re home and have a habit of yelling at your kids, try decluttering and organizing your home so that it is supporting you and your family better. Your home should be your sanctuary. Your escape. It should not feel like a prison.

Tip #4: Learn to say “no” to extra activities and tasks.

A couple of years ago, I read the book Boundaries by Henry Cloud. Before reading that book, I lived a somewhat boundary-less life. I said yes to almost everything that someone asked of me. I sacrificed family time. I never gave back to myself or thought of what I really wanted. I was a “yes girl.”

I had to learn how to set boundaries in my life.

Until reading that book. It set me free. It gave me the knowledge I didn’t know I didn’t have to create boundaries with other people. I also learned how to create boundaries with myself as I had some bad habits I needed to work on. One of those bad habits was procrastination. I had to learn how to say no and that by saying no I wasn’t harming the other person or myself. I have to teach people how to treat me. I have to teach them what makes me uniquely ME. And you can’t teach people that by always being a “yes girl.”

What do you need to start saying no to?

I want to encourage you to take a healthy audit of what takes up time in your life. List on a piece of paper your responsibilities both necessary and pleasurable and decided what you need to declutter. What do you need to muster up the courage for in order to say “no, that’s not good for me right now.” Be brave in order to create a life that really brings you peace instead of living your life for everyone else.

And if you need some encouragement with setting boundaries, grab a copy of the BOOK or download it on Audible. The audiobook is definitely my favorite version since it’s a very meaty book.

Tip #5: Limit unnecessary screen time.

Have you ever been scrolling social media when one of your kids asks you a question and you feel irritated by their interruption? You may have even found yourself responding to them with a quick and snappy response which is completely out of character for you.

Our devices are overstimulating us and creating extra stress.

Our phones, computers, and televisions all have the ability to increase our stress levels. When we’re on these devices we are receiving constant surges of dopamine. In a sense, we are experiencing a “high.” When you are in an overstimulated state, you can be easily triggered or set off.

Technology causes uncontrollable emotions in kids too.

This happens with my kids too. As I’m typing this post, I can hear my sons playing video games downstairs. I can hear their irritations with the players in the game and with each other. I hear them talking in a way they normally don’t. Even despite my talking with them and trying to correct their behavior, I am fighting against the constant surge of dopamine.

Take a break from your phone.

I recommend taking breaks from devices, especially your phone. If you find yourself addicted and the impulse too strong, you might have to take more drastic measures like deleting social media altogether or taking long fasts from phone use. Once you do cut back on the amount of screen time, I’m sure you will start experiencing less stress and in turn, lessen the outburst you have with your family due to overwhelming frustration.

Check out this podcast for more tips on making social media small in your life.

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I’d love to hear from you!

Do you struggle with yelling at your kids? Which one of these areas (or all 5) do you think is the main contributor to your increased stress? If the main cause is that you have a cluttered and CHAOTIC home, LET’S CHAT about that and make come changes!

You May Also Like

• The Best Digital Calendar Habits for ADHD
• Step #1 to Better Time Management for ADHD Moms
• How a Freeze Creates Better Spending Habits for ADHD
• 5 Simple ADHD Tips – How to Stick with Routines
• How to Make a Decluttering Plan – Basic Steps for ADHD Moms

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