How To Remain Calm with Your ADHD Child’s Messy Bedroom

Do you feel easily triggered when your child’s bedroom is messy yet again?

Do you lose your cool and say things you regret because you’re frustrated with the constant mess and disorganization?

Does your child have ADHD and you can’t figure out how to help him stay organized?

You are not alone and I’m here to help! I can help you…

• identify the root cause of the chaos in your home
• manage your mindset and what easily sets you off
• and create an environment that supports the life-changing habits you desperately long for.

Today I’m sharing how you can remain calm when your ADHD child’s bedroom is a mess. Take a deep breath! You’ve got this!

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Before we dive into the five tips for staying calm in your ADHD child’s messy bedroom, I want to share some fundamental ideas to help you shift your mindset.

Recognize that Your Child is Not Doing This to You

It’s important to remember that your child’s disorganization is not a personal attack on you.

Their messy bedroom is not meant to make you feel overwhelmed or frustrated.

Try to separate your emotions from the situation and view it objectively.

Understand that your child’s actions are not intentional, and they are not trying to spite you.

By recognizing this, you can approach the issue with a calmer mindset and focus on finding solutions.

Be the Calm for Your Child Amidst the Chaos

When faced with your child’s messy bedroom, resist the temptation to join them in the chaos.

Your child needs you to be a steady pillar of strength. Instead of getting emotionally triggered, strive to remain calm and composed.

By doing so, you create a safe space for your child to seek solace and support. Remember, emotions escalate when both you and your child are chaotic.

By staying calm, you can help defuse tense situations and maintain a positive parent-child relationship.

Avoid Blaming or Belittling

Blaming or belittling your child for their organizational struggles is counterproductive and damaging to their self-esteem.

Negative approaches breed negativity, while positive approaches foster positive change.

Instead of blaming or shaming, try to understand that organizing skills are developed over time.

Your child may not have had the opportunity to learn effective organizing techniques or may have too many belongings to manage.

Focus on encouraging and guiding them rather than criticizing or putting them down.

Consider Your Child’s Capacity

Just like adults, children have limits to what they can handle and manage efficiently.

If you struggle as an adult to keep your house tidy, imagine how difficult it is for your child who is still developing organizing skills.

Avoid overwhelming them with excessive belongings.

Help them learn to manage a smaller amount of items before gradually earning more as they become more proficient in organization.

By teaching them these skills, you are setting them up for success in managing their spaces throughout their lives.

MOM TIP: Filter everything that comes into your home for your child through the lense of, “What is within his capacity to manage?”

5 Tips to Stay Calm with Your Adhd Child’s Messy Bedroom

Now that we’ve discussed some fundamental principles, here are a few tips to help you establish a sense of calm within yourself and your child’s messy bedroom:

1. Take Control of What You Can

Start by focusing on what you can control: your own spaces.

Begin the journey toward a calmer environment by decluttering, organizing, and systemizing your own areas.

Recognize your own capacity and ensure that your home and daily tasks align with what you can handle.

By taking control of your own surroundings, you’ll feel more empowered to guide your child toward a tidier space.

2. Envision Calm Communication

When you’re in a state of calm, envision how you will communicate with your child about their messy bedroom.

Plan the words you will use and imagine yourself maintaining a composed and empathetic demeanor.

Remind yourself that you need to be a steady pillar of strength for your child, providing support and guidance without judgment.

By setting a positive example through your communication, you can encourage your child to adopt better organizational habits.

3. Establish Routines and Consistency

Routines and consistency are particularly beneficial for children with ADHD.

Create simple routines that can be easily followed and consider habit stacking—attaching new habits to existing tasks.

For example, when your child wakes up, they can make it a habit to pull the covers up to the pillow.

Similarly, after finishing a meal, they can rinse their plate and put it in the dishwasher.

By establishing consistent routines, you provide structure and help your child develop better organizational skills.

4. Prioritize Self-Care

Taking care of yourself is essential when dealing with a messy bedroom situation.

Ensure you get enough rest, engage in regular exercise, and eat nutritious foods to maintain your energy and mental well-being.

Avoid becoming hungry or fatigued, as it can make you more susceptible to frustration.

By prioritizing self-care, you’ll be better equipped to handle challenging moments and remain calm when addressing your child’s messy bedroom.

5. Find Joy in Time with Your Child

Remember to have fun with your child on a regular basis.

Engaging in enjoyable activities together strengthens your bond and creates a positive atmosphere at home.

When you give yourself time to have fun with your child, you’re more likely to remain calm amidst their messy chaos.

Enjoying shared experiences also provides an opportunity to teach your child about organization in a lighthearted and engaging way.

MOM TIP: Work on your relationship as it’s the foundation for any behavioral training with your child.

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I’d love to hear from you!

Have you found yourself triggered by your ADHD child’s messy bedroom? Which one of these tips do you think will be the most helpful? Which one is the easiest that you can apply today?