5 Helpful Tips for When Decluttering is Emotional for ADHD
Decluttering can be emotionally hard at times!
Decluttering is especially hard for ADHD moms who lack the executive function of emotional control which is your ability to manage your feelings to achieve your goals.
It’s like each object has its own story, a piece of our history, making the decision to keep or let it go feel impossible.
The guilt of letting go can be particularly paralyzing.
Maybe it’s the guilt over money spent on things barely used, or the guilt from parting with gifts from loved ones.
Or perhaps it’s the sadness of acknowledging that certain phases of life are over, like the baby years, as we fold away tiny onesies our children will never wear again.
These emotions can make us feel stuck, weighed down by the physical and emotional clutter in our lives.
However, learning to let go of the old makes room not just in our homes but in our hearts and minds, for new experiences, relationships, and dreams.
In this post, I’m sharing some practical tips for how to deal with your emotions while you’re decluttering your home.
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1. Remember your reason for decluttering.
Your reason for decluttering is crucial because it acts as a source of motivation and resilience.
It’s what pulls you forward when you’re staring at a room full of memories and possessions, feeling unsure of where to start.
It’s what reminds you of the ‘why’ behind each choice to keep, donate, or discard.
This clarity of purpose is especially important for moms with ADHD, who might struggle with starting tasks, making decisions, or staying focused.
Write your reason down in your journal or on a sticky note that you post on a wall or mirror.
You can even share your reason for decluttering your home in The Accountability Club.
Why should you declutter?
Your reason for decluttering may be that you feel overwhelmed in your house with all the stuff you have to manage.
And even though you feel a little emotional letting things go, you know having less to manage will make you feel better from day to day.
Another reason may be that a loved one has passed away and it causes too much grief to continue holding onto their things.
When you recall memories of your loved one while you’re decluttering and you start to get a little emotional, remember that letting go of items does not mean letting go of them.
You will need to remind yourself of your reason for decluttering their things.
Maybe you don’t have enough room or truly these things aren’t benefiting your life to continue holding on to them.
Before you start decluttering
Whatever your reason, it’s important to write it down before you get started decluttering.
That way anytime you feel like giving up, your reason will keep you motivated.
Your reason for decluttering may change or evolve and that’s okay. Just update your declaration and focus on your new motivation.
2. Understand that it’s normal for decluttering to be hard.
Understanding that decluttering can evoke strong emotions is crucial, especially for those of us navigating the complexities of ADHD.
The process is often more than just sorting through physical items; it’s an emotional journey that involves confronting memories, guilt, and sometimes even grief.
This emotional weight can make decluttering particularly challenging, but recognizing and accepting these feelings as a normal part of the process is a significant step forward.
Why do we get emotional about decluttering?
Many of us attach memories and sentiments to our possessions.
A simple t-shirt may remind you of a special day out with your kids, or a stack of books might carry the weight of the dreams you had for yourself.
Letting go of these items can feel like letting go of a part of your history or aspirations, which is why decluttering can sometimes feel like peeling back layers of your life story.
For instance, one of my coaching clients, held onto her late mother’s belongings for years.
Every attempt to declutter brought waves of grief and guilt.
It wasn’t until she acknowledged these emotions and understood their roots that she could gently and gradually start to let go, choosing to keep a few special items that truly sparked joy and memories of her mother.
Another client avoided decluttering her craft room which was filled with hobbies she no longer was interested in.
The clutter represented unfulfilled promises she made to herself, and facing it was a reminder of her failures.
However, acknowledging the emotional burden helped her understand that her worth wasn’t tied to these abandoned hobbies.
She could honor his past interests without letting them consume her space and mental energy.
Decluttering can lead to healing
Decluttering becomes hard and emotional because it confronts us with our vulnerabilities, regrets, and sometimes our losses.
But it also offers a path to healing and growth.
By facing these emotions head-on, we learn to process and move past them, making room not just in our homes but in our hearts for new experiences and joys.
This emotional aspect of decluttering is why it’s so important to approach the task with compassion and patience, both for yourself and for others who may be on a similar journey.
Acknowledging that the process is challenging but ultimately rewarding can transform decluttering from a dreaded task into a meaningful journey of personal development.
It teaches your resilience, allows you to confront and accept your past, and paves the way for a more intentional and peaceful lifestyle.
3. Start decluttering less emotional areas.
When it comes to decluttering, especially for us ADHD moms, starting small and tackling less emotional areas first can make a world of difference.
Why? Because it’s about building momentum and confidence without overwhelming our already busy minds.
I’ve worked with many ADHD moms through decluttering their homes.
I’ve seen them gain the ability to declutter more difficult items once they’ve stretched their decluttering muscles with me during our online coaching sessions.
If it can work for them, I know starting small can work wonders for you as well!
So, where can you start decluttering small areas?
Think about that junk drawer in the kitchen that’s filled to the brim with odds and ends – batteries, old receipts, pens that no longer work.
Or consider the linen closet, where towels and sheets have been shoved in haphazardly over time.
These areas are perfect starting points because they’re usually free of emotional attachments.
You’re unlikely to have a sentimental connection to a half-used notebook or a mismatched set of sheets, making it easier to decide what stays and what goes.
Why should I start with decluttering small areas?
Starting with these less emotional zones has a few key benefits.
First, it helps you practice decision-making skills in a low-stakes environment.
Deciding whether to keep or toss a worn-out towel is less daunting than sorting through cherished family heirlooms.
This practice is crucial for us ADHD moms who might struggle with decision-making paralysis.
Second, it creates quick wins.
Clearing out a cluttered drawer or organizing a messy closet can be done in a short amount of time, providing a sense of accomplishment.
These small victories are incredibly motivating.
They show you that change is possible, one drawer at a time, and build your confidence to tackle more challenging areas.
Lastly, it helps to reduce the sensory overload that clutter can cause, making our homes feel more peaceful and manageable.
For someone with ADHD, a clutter-free environment can lead to fewer distractions and a greater sense of calm, which is invaluable.
You’ll be able to declutter your whole home!
As you move from the kitchen drawer to the linen closet and throughout the rest of your house, you’re not just decluttering your home; you’re also decluttering your mind.
This approach allows you to gradually build up your decluttering “muscle,” making it easier to face those emotionally charged items with a clearer head and a stronger resolve.
So, by the time you reach the boxes of family photos or your child’s first artwork, you’re more prepared to make thoughtful decisions about what to keep and what to let go of.
4. Declutter in short bursts and take breaks.
Decluttering in short bursts and taking breaks is a game-changer, especially for ADHD moms who might find long, drawn-out tasks daunting and nearly impossible to start.
This approach makes decluttering feel less like a marathon and more like a series of short sprints.
What does a short decluttering session look like?
Imagine this: You’ve set a timer for 15 minutes to tackle a section of your overflowing bookshelf.
In that time, you quickly decide which books you’ve read and will never revisit, which ones you want to keep, and which ones you can donate.
Before you know it, the timer goes off, and you’ve cleared a shelf. This quick win not only boosts your mood but also shows you what you can achieve in a short amount of time.
Why does decluttering in short bursts work?
First, it helps prevent burnout.
For those of us with ADHD, sustaining attention on a single task for a long period can be challenging.
Short decluttering sessions fit neatly into our natural attention spans, allowing us to focus intensely without the risk of getting bored or overwhelmed.
Second, taking breaks is crucial for maintaining energy and motivation.
After a 15-minute decluttering burst, stepping away for a moment to grab a cup of tea or stretch your legs can help reset your mind, making you more effective when you return to the task.
This break also gives you a moment to celebrate your progress, however small it may seem.
Acknowledging these accomplishments can be incredibly motivating, encouraging you to keep going.
Furthermore, this approach allows for reflection and planning.
During breaks, you can assess what worked well in the last session and what didn’t, helping you adjust your strategy for the next round.
Maybe you realized that sorting through paperwork is more time-consuming than expected, so you’ll dedicate a few more 15-minute sessions to it next time.
Real-life decluttering example
One ADHD mom shared how she decluttered her entire kitchen using this method.
Each day, she set aside three 15-minute sessions—morning, afternoon, and evening—to tackle different drawers and cabinets.
By the end of the week, she had decluttered her entire kitchen without ever feeling overwhelmed or exhausted by the task.
In essence, decluttering in short bursts with breaks in between is about working with your ADHD brain, not against it.
It transforms decluttering from a dreaded, overwhelming chore into a series of manageable, even enjoyable tasks.
This method respects your energy levels and attention span, making the process of creating a clutter-free, peaceful home feel achievable and rewarding.
5. Surround yourself with positive influence and encouragement
Surround yourself with positive influence and encouragement during the decluttering process.
Your support system serves as a crucial pillar for navigating your decluttering journey.
Especially for ADHD moms who might face unique challenges in managing their homes and staying motivated.
Why is support helpful when decluttering?
Decluttering can sometimes feel like a solitary endeavor, filled with decisions that seem daunting and progress that feels slow.
Having a community or a supportive friend to share your journey with can transform this experience.
When you’re able to post a before-and-after photo of a newly organized closet or share a story about letting go of something you’ve held onto for years, the validation and encouragement you receive can be incredibly uplifting.
Positive reinforcement from others helps in several ways.
It boosts your confidence, making you more likely to tackle another decluttering task.
It also provides a sense of accountability; knowing that someone is cheering you on and perhaps expecting updates can motivate you to keep going even when the going gets tough.
Join The Accountability Club for Help Decluttering
If you need a positive community while you’re decluttering, consider joining The Accountability Club. It’s a space where you get affordable group coaching, share your journey, and stay accountable with your decluttering projects.
If group settings aren’t your thing and you need more hand-holding and personalized feedback, you can do one-on-one online coaching with me instead. You’ll get my eyes on your home and a more tailored coaching experience.
I’d love to hear from you!
What is something you’re trying to declutter right now that is making you feel emotional?
Leave a comment below.
